Here I am

So I just finished reading a book by Courtney E. Martin, "Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters". I know, uplifting title, right?? It was sad and slightly depressing, the things that women, young and old, subject their bodies to in the hopes of staying/becoming "thin enough" or "good enough". It was definitely very interesting. Honestly, is there any girl out there who has never worried about stuff like that? I know I have. Ugh. It's tough.

The overall picture of the book is somewhat related to something we're exploring at work right now, so it's doubly interesting to me; sports medicine and psychology is moving right up my interest ladder.

Anyway, a passage at the very end of the book really stuck with me, and I thought I'd share it. The author is talking about learning to love yourself again, writing a new story, and finding new beginnings. This is one of her new beginnings.
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I am sitting at a picnic table with a chattering gaggle of eight-year-old girls high on their morning Pop-Tarts. They are sprinkling sparkles over pools of glue and telling me stories about their moms and sisters, who "get worried and then eat, like only grapefruit and stuff for days but then screw up and eat chips or something and then feel bad and then eat more grapefruit and stuff." I ask them what they think "pretty" is.

The ringleader, a stocky blonde with a gap between her two tiny, Chiclet-like front teeth, jumps up from the table and practically screams: "You want to see my impression of a prom queen?"

"Yes, definitely," I reply, trying to move my voice recorder so it will pick up her performance.

She puts one hand on her head, palm facing up, apparently symbolizing a crown, and other other on her hip, and then starts sashaying around the picnic table in circles, shouting, "Hey, boys, look at me! Look at me, boys! Look at my royal heinie, boys! Isn't it so cute?" The rest of the gaggle erupts in exaggerated little-girl laughter, throwing themselves on the picnic table and dragging their knotty hair through the pools of sparkles.

One little girl, with a voice as small as any I have ever heard and hair black as the crows perched in the pinon trees surrounding us, leans over to my notebook and writes with a stubby, orange-colored pencil, "You are pretty. I think you have nice hair," and encircles her secret messages in a big lopsided heart.

"Thank you," I whisper in her ear, tears threatening to sneak out of the corners of my eyes. This little girl thinks I am asking these questions because I really don't know the answers. Suddenly it occurs to me that she is probably right. I am looking for wisdom from eight-year-olds with puff-painted shirts and stacks of brightly colored rubber bracelets.

I am not looking in the wrong place. I ask, "What about in the future? Do you think you will worry about stuff like your moms and big sisters in the future?"

A spindly little animal of a girl made entirely of bone and muscle jumps off the picnic table with her arms splayed out from her sides in the shape of wings and shouts, "In the future there will be flying cars! In the future, we will all be beautiful!"
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Hmmm...if only people will believe that. Even the flying cars part. Although I don't know; from my experiences, most people have enough trouble driving cars on the road. :)

As touchy-feely, girl-powery as that passage may have been, it's still a reminder. Don't forget to tell the girls and women around you how beautiful they are (and not just because they're having a good hair day!). And especially don't forget to tell yourself every once in awhile. Heck, why not every day?? I have a friend who likes to say, "I can't wait for tomorrow." To which I would inquire, "Why not?" Their response: "Because I get better-looking every day." A little egotistical, perhaps, but sometimes much-needed self praise.

Where have I been??

Apparently I fell off the face of the earth there for awhile. But have no fear, I'm back! It's late now, so I'll write more this weekend. Need to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for work tomorrow! It's Friday!

this and that

I've started getting caught up in what's not important and it's just not good. Time to get out of this funk. I keep seeing this ad for North Dakota tourism on tv (apparently ND appeals to us Wisconsinites??)...I'm getting there, huh?? Friday, Friday, Friday! I get to go home and I'm so beyond thrilled. Not that running away from where I am right now is the solution to the funk, but it will be good to be home (finally!!), be in small town familiarity under the stars. Ahh, here I come. YAY. In all reality, I do believe we go back "home" (wherever or with whomever that home may be) to remember why it deserves that special label AND to be gently reminded why we are where we are right now. If that makes any sense at all.

Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart

and try to love the questions themselves.

Don't search for the answers,

which could not be given to you now,

because you would not be able to live them.

And the point is, to live everything.

Live the questions now.

Perhaps then, someday far in the future,

you will gradually, without even noticing it,

live your way into the answer. -Rainer Maria Rilke

I'm also working on my patience. And being okay with things the way they are.

Hardee har har

I must be really lame-o, because I'm finding myself to be hysterical this evening. Watch out. I found this little ditty I wrote last year when I was doing Lutheran Volunteer Corps, and thought I should share it with everybody. Or maybe I've posted this before...eh, so what? I can't believe I'd forgotten about the massage book....good gracious.

Here in Milwaukee (also called "The Good Land" or "Brew City", perhaps "The Land of Beer and Cheese"?), we’ve found some pretty interesting ‘treasures’ in our house. How they ever got here and why they’re STILL here remains a mystery.

–The creepy gargantuan plastic Santa face

–A book on massage, circa 1972. With such riveting chapters as, "What to Tell Your Friend", "Introduction to the Strokes", "Making up Your Own Strokes", "Nervousness, Discomfort and the Tickles", "Two on One", and your favorite and mine, "Your Animals Too". Seriously!

–The wealth of mattresses, end tables, and randomness in the basement; will it never end??!?

–The gawdy, I mean lovely and aesthetically-pleasing, banners made by past Dorothy Day’ers.

–Enough board games and books to entertain for HOURS, DAYS, heck MONTHS on end.


Interesting things in our neighborhood:

–The 80 or so people who come and go from the house across the street. Hello??!? Can we say drug dealers???

–The old school ice cream truck. Funny, I’ve never actually seen anyone buy ice cream from it...interesting or shady? Could go either way.

–The VietHoa grocery market. What, you’ve never bought gelatin in a can?

The City:

–Free brewery tours! Woo!!

–The Milwaukee Public Market. It may be posh, but you can find some really good deals.

–$1 tickets to see the Brewers. So what if you have to get there 2 hours early and your view is obstructed? Big deal. It’s $1. They might as well call it the volunteer special.

Okay, after reading it again, it wasn't THAT darn funny. But maybe it deserved a knee slap or two.

A must-read

So, for my undergraduate graduation, our speaker was from the FAA, which is all fine and dandy, since UND is a huge aviation school. However, she was BORING. So boring, in fact, that the majority of people around me were texting their friends, rather than being inspired to go out and change the world. No offense, lady, but next time just politely reject the offer. Or find a better speech writer. Simple enough.

Southern New Hampshire University graduates didn't have to suffer through an hour of blahblahblah...aviation...blahblahblah. They got to listen to Barack Obama. Right. Now, I'm sure there are people out there who dislike this man (for what reasons, God only knows), and they were thinking the same blahblahblah that I was a few years ago. But I've read his address, and it's fabulous. Get up and go! You might just say he's the O-"bomb"-a. snickersnicker.... I'm embarassed for myself for how long I laughed at my lame attempt at humor.

So, go now, read, be inspired.... http://www.snhu.edu/6885.asp

Well, shoot.

I'm on my own personal DL as of now. Back problems lead to hip problems lead to dang it! Dreams of running a marathon will have to wait. Oh, well. Such is life. :)

run like the wind

MCAT done, O-chem final, check...ahh, good times. Now it's all about the application frenzy. June 5th, first day to submit. Eight bagillion pages of trying to make me look good. DEE-lightful.

It rained all day today...blech. Running in the rain really wakes you up. Or makes you rethink why you left the house in the first place. My mantra today: cold and wet is better than being sick. Although, with my luck, I'll contract pneumonia with all of this tomfoolery. I even bought a running hat, in hopes of giving myself more reasons to run. HAA! Let me tell you, I look pretty rad.

I got attacked by some environmental guys on the street today. Well, I didn't get attacked, they just wanted to talk. And guilt me into paying $10 a month to, in their words, "save the drowning polar bears in the Antarctic". REALLY? And that's when I said thank you and kept on walking. I'm all about putting an end to global warming, saving the environment, going green, what have you, but do not use a polar bear to get my money. I'll kick you.


i had a cute picture of a polar bear, which of course I can't find. Just imagine a polar bear. It's cute. Done deal.

Why drive, when you can run?

Hot diggity, I'm gonna do it! I'm now "officially" in training for the Nike Women's Marathon in San Francisco this October. Woo hoo! The best part (uhh...best part? Hello, is there anything bad about running 26.2 miles??? Haaaaa....) about this is WHY I'm doing it. I'm part of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team in Training, raising money to help people who are battling cancer, all the while training for an endurance event ('said' marathon).

The kick-off party was last Saturday and it was so awesome to be surrounded by all the other team members, plus the coaches and mentors who will be helping us through the whole journey. We also got to meet Caleb, who is the honored patient for the Milwaukee area. He's six years-old and was diagnosed with leukemia two years ago. He's so cute! His family was with, of course, and I think everyone got a little teary listening to his dad talk about their ups and downs since Caleb was diagnosed. Caleb is the reason I'm getting my butt out there to train, put in my miles, and raise some moolah.

I'm also running for my Grandma Dot, who died from lymphoma. I never had the chance to know her as 'an adult', so this is a way for me to honor her memory. There are so many others out there with their own stories...if you have someone you want me to run for, let me know and I'll gladly do so.

I do need your help, though! Please consider making a donation to my Team in Training fund (it's all tax deductible!!). My goal is $3800, a big chunk of change, so I need all the help I can get. And every little bit helps! Just check out my page, check out what Team in Training is all about, ask me questions! Have I mentioned I'm excited? BECAUSE....I'm excited!!!! woo hooo!!!!!!!

PLEASE VISIT!!!

http://www.active.com/donate/tntwi/goemgo

Currently: studying (or pretending to, while updating my blog) for the MCAT on Friday...AAAH!

Training: so far, so good. nothing too crazy yet :) i love running by the lake, as long as the wind doesn't provide too much resistance training and I found a new route with a great view of downtown!

And yet another fun factoid...

Two posts in one day??? Holy majoly! [It's called procrastination, people.] So, I'm knee-deep in organic chem, thoroughly enjoying myself as always (and THAT'S sarcasm), when I run across this fun little piece of information:

(reading about nitrogen-containing compounds, for all of you non-science geeks out there)

"One other characteristic of amines is their odor. [Now, odor was italicized, mind you, apparently to give it some sort of special effect. Which was promptly lost on me.] Low-molecular-weight amines such as trimethylamine have a distinctive fishlike aroma [yummmy!], while diamines such as cadaverine [wait, what? this can't be good. wait for it, waaaaaiiittt for it....] have names that are self-explanatory."

That'll wake ya up in the morning. Who wants breakfast???

'Just' desserts

So, I noticed something peculiar at work the other day. Now, it could just look bad. Perhaps I've been spending too much time at work (and am therefore incredibly loopy). Or maybe, just maybe, these two just need to get along...

"Downtown" cheesecake

"Uptown" cheesecake

Now, am I the only one who sees something wrong here? Don't wanna break out the 'r' word, but it's right there, staring at you, in all of its cheesy, calorie-laden splendor. WHO named these, anyway? :P

Oh, THERE you are...

I have once again been neglecting my blog. BIG time. Oops. I know all of you (all, um, 4 of you??...haa haa!) were glued to edge of your seats, waiting for my return, and I apologize for my tardiness.

I'm busy with stuff. MCAT is T-minus one month (Holy shit!...excuse my vulgar language), my class is in full swing, and work takes up too much time. Cold season is also in full swing, and I just hit a home run....baaahh hahahaaaaa...have I ever mentioned I lovelovelove bad humor? Speaking of bad humor...(I stole this off of one of my favorite blogs...sorry for not copyrighting or anything, but I don't really think I need to do that. I mean, really?)...

A new-ish med student on a surgery rotation was told by the intern before his first case case that whenever he farted in the OR, he had to announce it, so the attending wouldn't think they had nicked the bowel.Unfortunately, he had also had made some not-so-good dietary choices, so he felt the need, was unable to hold it in, and passed gas. "Uh, I, uh, passed gas," he announced. No one said anything. After a little while, it happened again. "Sorry, I farted again." A little grunt of acknowledgment from the attending. Toward the end of the case, it happened again: "I passed gas again."The attending stopped what he was doing, looked up at him, and said, "Boy, what is WRONG with you? This is a KNEE!"

HEH! That reminds me, I should be studying. Oh, happy day!

Jilly is sooooo big! Almost walking, too! Go, Jill, go!

Oh, how super...

Oh, sweet googily moogily....GO BEARS!

And here we go..... Bear down, Chicago Bears, make every play clear the way for victory,

Bear down, Chicago Bears, put up a fight with a might so fearlessly.

We'll never forget the way you thrilled the nation

With your T Formation.

Bear down, Chicago Bears, let them know why you're wearing the crown.

You're the pride and joy of Illinois,

Chicago Bears, bear down!

Don't make me sing it to you....

Go get 'em, boys! :D

Oh, to be a kid again...

So there I was, on the bus the other day, when it came to my attention that my feet didn't reach the floor. (It was a high seat, I swear!). Once again, life is amusing. Note the designation of "special" on the bus...oh, the irony.

It's Jilly-o! Love her bunches and bunches. What a nugget! Okay, okay, it's about time I updated, I suppose (are ya happy, Brooke?!? GOSH..and congratulationages to you, my lady!!...I still think hot dog carts would be a wise choice; really, think of the possibilities!!). I work a lot. I study. That's my life. Lol...so sad, really. I'm taking the MCAT in May and studying for it is now what I do. I will divide and conquer! Or something like that. It's good, though, it feels right, not like I'm completely flushing my time down the proverbial toilet bowl. I'm also taking an organic chem class this semester...more good times to be had.

I've recently become very old, with a ruptured disc or something of the sort in my back. Note to readers: don't do this, it hurts. Just saw me off at the waist, that's all I say. What a crock. It's gotten better, and hopefully it will keep doing so. That's me, here in Wisconsin (do I really live in Wisconsin?? That's still so weird...) keepin on, keepin on. Woot.

Peace out. Love you, people!