Geh.

Today I'm pissed at the world. Why, you ask? Well, I'm not sure. I've been trying to pinpoint it. Maybe it was the bazillion people who kept coming into the clinic today complaining that they were really sick and out of medications, yet they've missed their last 3 appointments...hmmm, let's think about that for awhile. Or perhaps it's the stupid email we got from one of our supposed LVC "support committee" members attempting to make us feel bad for not attending a fundraising concert that he, of course!, attended. Oh, blow it out your ass. Then again, it could be the bitches at UW-Milwaukee who won't give me residency status so I can actually afford to take one class next fall. One class!! Come on, people, work with me here...PLEASE. AAARRGH! I'm so frustrated. And then the proverbial "man" took one of my favorite shows off the air. Now, I don't watch that much tv, but when I have my shows, I need to watch them. Don't get in my way, don't talk, or I'll yell at you. And I won't care if I hurt your feelings. Because IT'S MY SHOW. Roar.

It would just be nice to figure out what I'm doing in 3 months, to have something concrete. But seems like my life isn't about that right now, so why worry, right? Time to pull my head out of places it shouldn't be (seem to be telling myself this more and more lately)!

Everwood, the show they canned, had some great quotes; here's one of them that's particularly fitting right now:


"The more things change, the more they stay the same. I'm not sure who the first person was who said that. Probably Shakespeare. Or maybe Sting. But at the moment, it's the sentence that best explains my tragic flaw: my inability to change.

I don't think I'm alone in this. The more I get to know other people, the more I realize it's kind of everyone's flaw. Staying exactly the same for as long as possible, standing perfectly still... It feels better somehow. And if you are suffering, at least the pain is familiar. Because if you took that leap of faith, went outside the box, did something unexpected... Who knows what other pain might be waiting out there. Chances are it could be even worse.

So you maintain the status quo. Choose the road already traveled and it doesn't seem that bad. Not as far as flaws go. You're not a drug addict. You're not killing anyone... Except maybe yourself a little.

When we finally do change, I don't think it happens like an earthquake or an explosion, where all of a sudden we're like this different person. I think it's smaller than that. The kind of thing most people wouldn't even notice unless they looked at us really, really close. Which, thank God, they never do. But you notice it. Inside you that change feels like a world of difference. And you hope this is it. This is the person you get to be forever... that you'll never have to change again."


Not that I usually choose the road already travelled. I mean, I'm in Milwaukee, for the love of God....haa haaa.

A big thanks to Jamie, for bein supa fly :) and a hey-hey to everybody else...i miss you more than you know!!

peace.