I should be in bed

It's 10:45 on a Friday night and I'm surprised I'm still awake. Holy crap, I sound like my mother!! (dun dun duuuuunnn.....) I don't know if work has really been that stressful lately, or if I'm coming down with something (all-I-want-to-do-is-take-a-nap-so-leave-me-the-f-alone-itis), but I am not doing so good. As I mentioned in my previous bloggin (haa...rhymes with tobaggan...side effect of lack of sleep...wait, no, just my bad humor), I've reverted to the old "turn off the alarm clock, go back to sleep" routine. I feel so drained when I wake up; six hours is supposed to be enough, right? bah!

I've gotten on a reading kick (maybe, just maybe, has something to do with the lack of sleep)...nothing but doctor books...oh, they're so fascinating (I'm a grade-A Nerd)!! And discouraging...students telling stories of hazing and being humiliated during rounds at the hospital...woooo!! Where do I sign?? But then...the absolutely worst thing imaginable to me...are you ready for this? Sure you can handle it?????.........................

COMPLETE AND UTTER LACK OF SLEEP-------NOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! Please don't tell me this! Not now, not when I might actually be making up my mind on what could be one of the most important decisions I've made in a long time(and if you know me well, heck if you've just known me a few hours, you know I have issues with making decisions: "I don't care where we eat, just pick somewhere and don't make me do it, for the love of God!!!!").

And with that folks, medicine has lost its appeal. Stories of med students being so tired they can barely string together coherent sentences, being up for the last 48 hours on-call, or falling asleep standing up during rounds at 4:30 in the am....riiight.

What's that, you say? There's an opening for a cashier at Petco? HHAA HAAA...okay, really, that's not funny, just downright wrong (on so many levels). No offense to all you Pet-hos out there; it's just not the life for me. So I plug along in this crazy world, trying to diagnose (I do want to be a doctor!) my tiredness and feeling uber proud because I knew the answer to Final Jeopardy--obviously a measure of one's success in life--today as I was running on the treadmill at the gym...it's hospice care, you dumbasses, hospice care (I actually wanted to start yelling the answer at the morons on the tv---I AM turning into my mother)!! Guess that honors thesis came in handy for something, huh? HUH???

Realization of the day: I like looking words up in the dictionary when I don't know what they mean. Wait, that's like learning, right? :P

Currently reading: "What I Learned in Medical School: Personal Stories of Young Doctors", soon to be followed by "Bedside Manners: One Doctor's Reflections on the Oddly Intimate Encounters Between Patient and Healer". This is some good shit, people.